It's Official

I have accepted the offer to attend the January- July track of college. Everything seems to be set,but nothing seems right anymore. I fought with my mom for a really long time on Friday. We screamed at each other, i cried for hours and hours, until i couldn't even breathe because it hurt so much. But i think the thing that hurt most was knowing i have absolutely no support system. My friends do the best they can, but i don't think they realize how much pain i'm truly in, and i don't have the right to put my problems before theirs. And besides, i don't think it would matter anyway. I need my family. I need my brother to protect me, to not just treat me like i'm defective. For my mom to let me talk to her about what i truly feel, not just what she thinks is right. My sister tries, but i don't think she really gets it. Gets me. It hurts, knowing that no one is going to ask you what's wrong and just hold you as you cry. I don't make those kinds of connections. I'm starting to think i really am defective. People like me, but i'm easily forgettable. They love me for about a week, but i don't stick. Once i stop seeing them everyday, they stop remembering. Or maybe its me that forgets. I'll never know i guess. Either way, it gets harder and harder to keep living my life. I try so hard; to work, do school work and keep up with whatever friends i have left. I just need that one person that just needs me like i need them. And not just loves me because its biology or because we're buds. I need love most of all.